How to recover from autistic burnout: why alone time is essential for professionals
- Lii Brooke
- Jan 19, 2024
- 8 min read
Updated: 1 day ago
Once you're in it, you just know. It takes over. There is the anger and the tiredness. A heavy tiredness. The climb-into-bed-for-days sort. If only you could…There may be responsibilities you have to fulfil whether or not you are utterly depleted.
But how did you get to that point? Where did the sudden rage come from?
If you're an autistic professional in a demanding career, perhaps in tech, law or academia, you might be reading this because you've hit a wall. You're seemingly functioning at work, delivering results, managing teams. But at home you're collapsing. Snapping at your partner. Unable to play with your children. Too exhausted to do anything...Resentment builds.
This might be autistic burnout. Burnout is not a clinical diagnosis but a phenomenon often associated with high-pressure workplaces. Burnout can occur when the level of demand is higher than the level of available personal resources for a prolonged period of time. It can happen to people of all neurotypes and across different life contexts, for example there is now a broad acknowledgment of parental burnout.
In my professional opinion as a therapist, autistic burnout can be understood as a result of compounded stressors, such as responding to relentless demands, masking and sensory overstimulation across a range of settings. From my observation and personal experience autistic burnout happens from living in environments ill suited to autistic neurotype, whether those environments are work, home or general social spaces.
It appears non-autistic burnout can be more easily avoided because it tends to be context-specific. In contrast, autistic burnout is likely an inescapable occurrence, which can be managed but not eradicated, unless all the person’s environments are well-suited to their autistic neurotype.
Understanding what contributes to autistic burnout, and more importantly, what helps you recover, can be the difference between barely surviving and actually living.
What contributes to autistic burnout?
Below I share observations, based on my own experience as an autistic professional working in data analytics and as a counsellor, plus the patterns I've seen with autistic clients in demanding careers.
Here are three factors I have identified which contribute to the pit of hopelessness that is autistic burnout:
1. Gradual build-up
The intensity of sensory experience and demands creeps up over time. It accumulates. A day of back-to-back meetings, followed by a sports class, followed by a rushed dinner and an extra-early wake-up. A few of those in quick succession, with added caring responsibilities or social commitments and there you go. You have arrived at the pit even though individual days were kind of just about manageable.
For autistic professionals, workplace demands are particularly draining:
Open-plan offices with constant noise and visual distractions
Video calls requiring facial expression monitoring
Unexpected changes to schedules or priorities
Navigating office politics and tiresome social rules
Commuting during rush hour
Performing "professionalism" that doesn't match your natural communication style
Each day might be tolerable but the cumulative effect, without adequate recovery time, leads to burnout.
2. Little or no headspace
Another sure culprit I have discovered is being surrounded by people all the time, especially people with rights of ownership of your time and attention. Yes, hello, children! You are lovely but my head is hurting.
There is a strong sense of responsibility. Things have to be just right, whether it is a work conversation, time with friends or family. And with a scarce buffer in between, there's no opportunity to process information. So you just end up carrying around this mental load.
Many autistic adults know intuitively they need alone time to process sensory input, regulate emotions and recover from the demands of social interaction. Without it you remain in a constant state of overstimulation, unable to identify what you're feeling or what you need.
3. Lack of control
And here is what in my view brings on the bleakness of autistic burnout like nothing else—the inability to make a positive change. You may know you need to reduce the demands on your resources but it is just not going to happen. The job still has to be done, the family cared for, the house cleaned. Right?
So even when you're in the hopeless pit you still drag yourself up and get on with it. Because there is no choice.
Let's consider this for a moment?
How to recover from autistic burnout: the power of alone time
I have a suggestion, which I have personally found useful and seen autistic clients benefit from too. Time and space to yourself.
The duration and frequency of restorative solitude will differ from one person to another depending on your natural requirement for social contact. But the need itself? That's almost universal for autistic adults.
The precious thing about time alone is that it allows to:
Acknowledge you have arrived at a crisis point
Create a space to retreat
Analyse the information
Decide whether and how to take reparative action
You can see how time alone addresses both the first and last burnout-contributing factors above. If you stop and process what's going on, you become aware of how you are feeling and can put preventative measures in place. Equally, just through the sheer virtue of taking a purposeful action, based on evidence, you are already regaining a sense of control.
Practical strategies: how to create alone time (even when it seems impossible)
And how, you ask, is this going to happen, the utopian time alone? Start small, I say.
For professionals with demanding work/family schedules:
Sneak a coffee slot into your school run or commute: By yourself, in the car, once the children have been delivered to various destinations. Use this 10 minutes to simply sit in silence, no podcast, no phone. Allow your mind to wander
Hide in the corner under a plant with a good book: If you're in the office, claim a quiet space to enjoy peace and clarity before the day officially starts or at break time. Even 15 minutes makes a difference
Create "processing time" in your calendar: Block out 30 minutes after intense meetings or before family time. Label it "focus work" if you need to, most people respect blocked calendar time
Establish a non-negotiable wind-down ritual: My favourite, pour a glass of something decent at the end of yet another manic week and have a thorough chat with yourself. In peace. Review the week. Process the emotions. Plan adjustments for next week
Use commute time strategically: If you use public transport or drive this can be valuable alone time. Noise-cancelling headphones, no social media. Favourite jazz album…just processing time
Communicate your needs to your household: "I need 30 minutes of complete quiet when I get home from work" is a reasonable request. You might go for a walk, retreat to a bedroom or have a warm shower. Explain it's not rejection, it's recharging so you can be present
This is what I do to ring-fence small sections of rebalancing time. Your way may be different. Spending time in nature is great and so is being around animals. The key is consistency and protection of this time.
What happens if you can't create alone time?
I would not assume to have the answer to how to banish autistic burnout altogether. If we were to design our worlds from scratch, they would probably accommodate our needs in a greater way than these stolen few moments of solitude. Sometimes big changes do need to take place.
But in order to arrive at the conclusion of what that change is and how to implement it, you are likely going to need a bit of thinking time. I would suggest, preferably alone?
Without regular recovery time, burnout doesn't just persist, it deepens. The anger becomes more frequent. The exhaustion is more profound. Your capacity to mask at work diminishes. Relationships suffer. Performance declines. Eventually, something breaks.
This is why alone time isn't optional for autistic professionals. It's essential maintenance.
Frequently asked questions about autistic burnout and recovery
Q: How long does it take to recover from autistic burnout?
A: Autistic burnout recovery varies significantly by person and severity. Mild burnout might improve with consistent alone time over several weeks. Severe burnout, where you've lost skills, can barely function and are experiencing constant meltdowns, can take 3-6 months or longer with significant lifestyle changes. The key is consistent reduction of demands plus regular recovery time, not just a one-off break.
Q: Is alone time the same as avoiding people?
A: No. Alone time is active recovery and self-regulation, not social avoidance. In my opinion adults who get adequate alone time actually have more capacity for meaningful social connection. They want to reconnect with others, they just need recovery time first. Think of it like recharging a battery: you need the charge to function properly.
Q: How do I explain my need for alone time to my neurotypical partner or family?
A: Frame it as a physiological need, not a personal preference. Explain that autistic brains process sensory and social information differently, making interactions genuinely exhausting in ways that rest doesn't fully address. Alone time isn't rejection, it's how you restore capacity to be present and engaged.
Q: What if my job makes alone time impossible?
A: Even small modifications can help. Request reasonable accommodations: working from home one day per week, claiming a desk in the less busy part of the office, using noise-cancelling headphones, having a quiet space for breaks or adjusting meeting schedules to include buffer time. My personal solution for the rare days I show my face at a busy central London office is to arrive before the morning rush hour and leave in the late afternoon. If your job absolutely cannot accommodate basic recovery needs, it might be contributing to unsustainable burnout. Sometimes the "big change" is finding work that doesn't destroy you.
Q: Can I recover from autistic burnout without quitting my demanding career?
A: Yes, but it requires intentional boundaries and systemic changes, not just individual coping strategies. Many autistic professionals successfully manage demanding careers by protecting non-negotiable recovery time, reducing masking where possible, negotiating workplace accommodations and periodically reassessing whether the cost is sustainable. Sometimes success means redefining what a fulfilling career looks like for you. I chose to do this myself by reducing the days in an employed role as a data analyst and increasing the hours in private practice as a therapist. Some colleagues might look at me in disbelief but the improvement in my wellbeing has been worth it.
Working with a counsellor who understands autistic burnout in professionals
As an autistic professional working in data analysis while running a counselling practice, I understand your experience. I know what it's like to navigate demanding careers, high-stakes environments and the exhaustion of maintaining professional credibility while managing autistic burnout.
I specialise in supporting autistic professionals in demanding careers, who are experiencing:
Autistic burnout and workplace exhaustion
Difficulty establishing boundaries around recovery time
Anger and emotional regulation challenges stemming from chronic overstimulation
Relationship struggles due to having "nothing left" at home
Late-diagnosis adjustment and identity questions
My approach focuses on:
Practical strategies for creating sustainable alone time within demanding schedules
Reducing masking without sacrificing career success
Managing the accumulation effect before it becomes deep burnout
Building self-advocacy skills for workplace accommodations
Addressing relationship impact of autistic burnout
Serving autistic professionals in-person in Gerrards Cross, Buckinghamshire, and online across the UK and Republic of Ireland.
You don't have to wait until you're in a crisis. Early intervention such as establishing regular recovery time now, is far more effective than trying to climb out of severe burnout later.
Book your free 15-minute introductory call to explore whether we're a good fit.
/* I am an autistic counsellor, data analyst and postgrad researcher, helping autistic professionals to manage burnout, reduce masking and negotiate positive relationships.
Autism and success are absolutely possible: define your acceptance criteria and go for it.*/
